Separation Anxiety

Separation Anxiety: When should you worry?

Jackeline Gurdian, MS, OTR/L

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has suffered with this. I sometimes find myself apologizing for my daughter when she doesn’t want to be with anyone but mom or dad. (in my case mostly dad L). The more and more I talk about this with other parents, the more I realize that this is a problem that we are all dealing with.

So….Is it normal?

YES! Children often deal with separation by showing their true colors (crying, tantrums, etc.). This is a normal developmental stage in your child’s life. This anxiety will usually begin between 8-14 months; they often start to fear new people or new places. At this stage, children have a hard time understanding time and might feel like you will never come back. Usually around 2 years of age, most children outgrow this stage. Please note that it’s ok if at times your child demonstrates separation anxiety during periods of stress.

What can you do?

It is very important for your child to trust that you will come back. I often see many parents hiding and running out the door when they have to leave to avoid the tantrum, once your child realizes you are gone; they feel betrayed and start to lose trust. Make sure that your child sees you say goodbye but of course don’t prolong the goodbye, make it short and sweet. You can practice this by leaving the room and coming right back and then keep prolonging the time you are away.  I promise it gets better!

 

When should you worry?

If you feel that your child’s daily functional activities are being affected such as school, social and personal skills.

Other symptoms:

·         Clingy with parents all the time

·         Worry about losing parent

·         Excessive tantrums when you are out

·         Nightmares

·         Physical complaints when you are out

If you notice these symptoms lasting more than 4 weeks after the developmental stage of approximately 8-14 months of age, then seeking professional help is recommended. A mental health professional can be consulted for an evaluation for the child as well as for family dynamics. An Occupational Therapist can help to deal with different coping mechanisms that will increase functional independence. They can also assist with group skills to interact with others without the help of their parents.

If your child is suffering from separation anxiety and you need help please contact us speakeatplay@gmail.com. We can provide in home consultations in the Miami area or facetime/Skype for all other areas.